My mum used to cook all my food, she used to do all my washing and my ironing so that was quite easy.  Anything that my mum makes is good. My favourite’s gonna be the spag bols and spaghetti bolognese. She makes good spaghetti bolognese… (c)

wickedcherub:

Everytime my husband tells me about some sporting stars achievements etc, I just reply with ‘yeah but he’s ugly’ and he gets so mad but he can’t say anything because he knows this is what women go through every single time we achieve something.

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

harryedward:

everyone on this site gets so offended over everything go outside and tell the plants in your yard because i do not care

“Something else is hurting you - that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can’t think.” — Charles Bukowski (via americanapparelunderwear)

booforce:

my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

poweredbytheprofane:

the best of hot occupations, side by side.

njena:

i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells

@zaynmalik: Connecticut my town ! :) x 

inspired by (x)

#1d 

yoncevevo:

if youre straight and you watch straight porn u 50% gay

alamatomb:

Did you know that you can drink lava? But only once

Title: Poet
Artist: Bastille
Played: 112979 times

sogeeked:

Now you live through the ages
I can feel your pulse in the pages